Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
