He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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