he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
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It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
