RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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