My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
