OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
