She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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