Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
