More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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