The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
