I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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