Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
