You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
