why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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