areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
