just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
