what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
