Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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