Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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