I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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