We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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