New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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