I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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