we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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