Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
