Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
