I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I should be sponsored by Trojan
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
