I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
