Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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