the condom got lost in my hair
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
