Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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