Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
