well you can't waste a boner
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
