Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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