she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
