That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
