I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
