did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
