He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
