At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
