Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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