I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
