I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
