Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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