i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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