ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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