hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
