he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
