To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just tell him i said nine months
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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