Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
