The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
