Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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