You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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