im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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