My cat gives me a boner
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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