did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
